King Yak's International Haunted House of Chili

Discordian Shrine & Bait Shop

Category: Reviews

Review: The Wolfpack

The Wolfpack is clearly intended as one of those “reality is stranger than fiction” documentaries, but I don’t really buy it. The movie tells the story of the six Angulo brothers (Bhagavan, Govidnda, Jagadisa, Krsna, Mukunda, and Narayana), who live with their mother, father, and sister in a 4-bedroom apartment on New York’s Lower East […]

Review: Slow West

In Slow West, a young Scottish nobleman named Jay Cavendish travels to America to find his lost love (in his mind, at least), a commoner named Rose. The story starts in Colorado, where a tough guy named Silas (Michael Fassbender in Eastwood mode) basically strong-arms Jay into hiring him as a guide/bodyguard. There’s an impression […]

Review: San Andreas

When I checked the movie listings yesterday, there were three possibilities. I threw out Poltergeist pretty quickly because horror reboots rarely live up to the originals, there’s absolutely no need to remake Poltergeist, and so far the best reason I’ve seen for rebooting Tobe Hooper movies is Jessica Biel’s tank top in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. […]

Review: It Follows

So there’s this blond girl who likes to swim. That’s pretty much the extent of the protagonist’s character depth. I’m sure that she and the other characters in the movie had names, but I really can’t imagine anyone who wasn’t directly involved in production bothering to learn them. I certainly didn’t, so I’m going to […]

Review: Unfriended

Since The Blair Witch Project bored us all to tears and/or gave us motion sickness, there have been hundreds of “found footage” horror flicks, most of them unwatchable. Unfriended, at least, offers a slight twist on the formula: Instead of constructing the movie around camera footage of some idiots walking around in the woods, the […]

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