I remember being kind of ambivalent about the first Resident Evil movie. The action was good, but the story didn’t really hold together all that well. It seemed more complicated than it needed to be to justify the action scenes and less complicated than it needed to be to work as something that existed to […]
Lets’ get the nonsense out of the way first: By “Dickless Edition,” I mean that the central characters are women (this apparently bothers some people, but those people are idiots). This isn’t an alternate version of the story told from the perspective of a dedicated EPA agent trying to protect the city from a group […]
When the first ad for Stranger Things showed up on Netflix, I skimmed the blurb and thought it sounded like something I wanted to watch, but I only had one more season of The Walking Dead on Netflix to not-quite-hate-watch, so I decided to finish that up first. While I was wondering why the fuck […]
I didn’t know much about The Witch going in, but had a vague impression from half-skimmed headlines and Tweets that I would enjoy it. I did enjoy it, but in the way you’d enjoy an interesting show on the History Channel back before it got taken over by aliens and Templars. Sort of that “well, […]
This review contains some spoilers, but that probably doesn’t matter because I doubt you’ll want to see the movie by the time we’re done. Krampus starts out looking like a standard Christmas movie with Adam Scott and Toni Collette’s family getting ready for the arrival of Collette’s sister, her Cousin Eddie-like husband (David Koechner), and […]
Hellbenders is the story of the Augustine Interfaith Order of Hellbound Saints, which is basically the nuclear option for getting rid of demons. The idea is that when exorcism and other demon-banishing tricks just won’t work, a hellbound saint will allow himself to get possessed and then commit suicide, dragging the demon to Hell with […]
The From Dusk Till Dawn series has been on my Netflix list for at least a year, but I’ve kept putting it off, mainly because every time I’ve had the time and inclination to binge on Netflix there’s been another series I wanted to watch more. When I finally got around to it earlier this […]
So there’s this blond girl who likes to swim. That’s pretty much the extent of the protagonist’s character depth. I’m sure that she and the other characters in the movie had names, but I really can’t imagine anyone who wasn’t directly involved in production bothering to learn them. I certainly didn’t, so I’m going to […]
Since The Blair Witch Project bored us all to tears and/or gave us motion sickness, there have been hundreds of “found footage” horror flicks, most of them unwatchable. Unfriended, at least, offers a slight twist on the formula: Instead of constructing the movie around camera footage of some idiots walking around in the woods, the […]
When my editor at Bazooka Magazine asked me to watch and review a web series, I’m not really sure what I was expecting, but those expectations were definitely a lot lower than what I got. When I first clicked the link, the still of a shirtless guy covered in blood with dark lighting didn’t exactly thrill […]
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