Before I discuss Justice League, a quick recap of my thoughts on the DCEU so far (links go to full reviews): I was ambivalent about Man of Steel, and my main complaint had more to do with a fundamental failure to grasp the role of Jonathan Kent (and Jonathan Kent’s death) in the Superman mythology […]
I remember being kind of ambivalent about the first Resident Evil movie. The action was good, but the story didn’t really hold together all that well. It seemed more complicated than it needed to be to justify the action scenes and less complicated than it needed to be to work as something that existed to […]
[Editor’s Note: This review may seem jumbled and disjointed, but it’s at least 1,000 times more coherent than the plot of the Suicide Squad.] Will Smith is mad, Harley’s crazy. They both have theme music. Amanda Waller has theme music, too. It’s “Sympathy for the Devil,” which makes sense. Seems like this is the Amanda […]
Here’s an excerpt from my second book of movie reviews, 21 Movies You’ve Probably Already Seen, Reviewed By Some Guy You Don’t Know, which will be available very soon. I’m not exactly sure how it happened. I’d just gotten off a 12 hour shift that ended at 11 a.m. I’d been awake for a few […]
Lets’ get the nonsense out of the way first: By “Dickless Edition,” I mean that the central characters are women (this apparently bothers some people, but those people are idiots). This isn’t an alternate version of the story told from the perspective of a dedicated EPA agent trying to protect the city from a group […]
I hear that the new Tarzan movie got bad reviews, but I didn’t pay much attention to that. John Carter and the last Conan movie got bad reviews too, and I enjoyed both of them. And in the case of the Conan movie, the things that the reviewers most consistently complained about were the things […]
I was going to see the new X-Men movie, but the glut of summer movies means it was already down to one showtime, and I didn’t get to the theater in time. Tarzan and the new Purge movie open today, but presumably due to weird box office math rules, the first showings weren’t for a […]
First things first: No, Hilddleston doesn’t sound anything like Hank Williams. To be fair, though, most people don’t. The only person I’ve ever heard get it all right is Hank III, and he probably can’t act. For the most part, Hiddleston does a good job despite the vocal differences. Even though he can’t match the […]
Spoiler Warning: Worrying that spoilers will ruin this movie is kind of like worrying about a hangnail on a hand that just got chopped off, but if you don’t want to miss out on experiencing all the Snyderiffic magic for yourself, you might want to wait until you’ve seen the movie to read this. When […]
I didn’t know much about The Witch going in, but had a vague impression from half-skimmed headlines and Tweets that I would enjoy it. I did enjoy it, but in the way you’d enjoy an interesting show on the History Channel back before it got taken over by aliens and Templars. Sort of that “well, […]
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